We rounded up sexual health experts to weigh in on subjects that women are often too red-faced to discuss with their gynecologists or girlfriends. Read on to get the lowdown on what’s really going on down under. And for even more sex ed, take our sexual health quiz…
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1. Why don't my breasts match?
Unless you’ve had a boob job, most breasts aren't perfectly matched. That’s because they’re made of mammary gland tissue and fat and have naturally different amounts in each, explains Glenn Updike, M.D., assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Magee Women’s Hospital in Pittsburgh.
For some women, the difference is more pronounced, and it’s usually a cosmetic issue. If it’s embarrassing or affecting your sex life, surgery is an option.
But if one breast suddenly becomes much larger than the other, it could indicate an infection or tumor, so have your gynecologist evaluate it immediately.
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2. Is it normal to pass gas during orgasm?
When you climax, the muscles around your genitals – including the sphincter muscle – relax, so it’s not unusual for a little gas to escape, says Millicent Comrie, M.D., founder and medical director of the Long Island College Center for Women’s Health in Brooklyn.
But even before orgasm, the in-and-out motion may trigger gas because the penis rubs against the anus through the vaginal wall, she says.
If it happens frequently and is embarrassing, take an over-the-counter anti-gas medication that contains simethicone before having sex, she says.
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3. I had a dream about having sex with another woman. Am I gay or bisexual?
Not necessarily, says Michele Sugg, a certified sex therapist in Branford, Conn. It could mean you’re attracted to women (or a particular woman), but it may signal that you’re missing the close, cozy feelings of hanging with a girlfriend.
“Sometimes women symbolize nurturance, love and closeness” in your dreams, Sugg explains. “If you’re in a relationship with a guy and you’re not getting enough closeness,” such a dream might mean you need more of that.
Remember: An erotic dream doesn’t define your sexual identity.
“Even if it means you feel sexually attracted to another woman, you don’t need to pigeonhole yourself,” she says. “Maybe you’ll be attracted to women at times. There’s a scale rather than being gay, straight or bi.”
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4. Is a cold sore the same as herpes?
Cold sores don’t carry the same stigma as genital herpes, but strains of the same herpes simplex virus cause cold sores on the lips (and other areas of the face, chest, even the fingers), as well as blisters around genitals.
In some cases, the virus strain that causes cold sores can also cause serious eye and brain infections. About 50%-80% of American adults have oral herpes; 20% have genital herpes.
Herpes simplex virus 1 (HSV-1) usually occurs above the waist (generally through kissing or sharing eating utensils), while herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV-2) usually occurs below the waist (generally through sexual contact). But you can get either virus in either area through oral-genital contact.
“People aren’t as embarrassed to say, ‘I get cold sores,’ but fewer people are apt to bring up that they have genital herpes, although both of them could be in either place,” Updike says.
Genital HSV-1 actually appears to be on the rise among adolescents, Comrie says, “because they’re having oral sex instead of intercourse.”
Both HSV-1 and HSV-2 are treatable, but neither is curable.
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5. Can certain exercises really lead to better sex?
Absolutely. For starters, a good cardiovascular routine helps build energy and stamina. Strength training and stretching can help you build muscles and improve your flexibility so you can get into – and maintain – various positions during sex.
The best exercise to improve sex is the Kegel squeeze – basically strength training for your pubococcygeus (or PC) muscles, which hold up your vagina, anus, uterus, bladder and urethra.
“The stronger these muscles are, the more intense your orgasms will be,” says Chicago sex and relationship therapist Laura Berman, Ph.D., author of The Passion Prescription (Hyperion).
To locate your PC muscles, try to stop your urine flow when you pee. Hold the squeeze for five seconds, then release. Doing 50-150 Kegel squeezes a day will help keep those muscles in good shape. Don’t do Kegels regularly while urinating, because it can lead to urinary tract and bladder infections.
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6. Is cybersex really cheating?
Many may not consider provocative emails to be cheating. After all, they reason, you’re only exchanging thoughts or fantasies, not bodily fluids.
But ask yourself: Would you want your partner to read your exchanges and would he be hurt, angry or resentful if he did?
“If your partner wouldn’t feel comfortable with what you’re doing, you’re probably out of bounds,” Sugg says.
Try to figure out what’s missing from your relationship that you’re looking for online. Bored with your sex life? Does your husband see you as the mother of his children while you still feel like a sex kitten? Or maybe you want to try something more risque in the bedroom?
Rather than act out online, talk about it with your partner and expand your sex life together. Real sex beats the virtual kind any day.
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7. Will my vagina be noticeably bigger after I have a baby?
If you push a baby out through your vagina, expect some stretching.
“After delivery, the vaginal opening is anywhere from 1-4 centimeters bigger than it was before,” says Bruce Rosenzweig, M.D., director of urogynecology at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago.
Whether it snaps back to pre-delivery size after your recovery depends on how big your baby was, how long you pushed, how well your obstetrician repaired any tears and whether you’re diligent about doing your postpartum Kegel exercises.
“If you do those Kegel exercises to strengthen the vaginal muscles, the outcome is better,” Comrie says.
If you had an episiotomy and your OB was meticulous about sewing it up, she adds, “you could be better than before.”
That said, after multiple deliveries, your vagina may still feel roomier and you may want more tightening than you’ll get from marathon Kegel sessions.
If so, ask your gynecologist about vaginal reconstruction (aka perineoplasty or vaginoplasty), which can help lift and tighten the sagging muscles at the vagina’s opening and deeper inside.
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